


Passive Aggressive

by kamerer220 (orphan_account)



Series: We really don't belong together but somehow we work anyway [1]
Category: James Bond (Craig movies)
Genre: Friendship, Jame's guilt could be a character, M/M, Men are emotionally conspitated especially secret agents, Pining, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-04
Updated: 2017-07-04
Packaged: 2018-11-23 04:54:34
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,938
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11395749
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/kamerer220
Summary: James thinks he knows what he wants which is why he keeps retiring with all the wrong women.He definitely doesn't know what he needs ie all those aborted trips to medical and attempts to do surgery on himself after getting shotThank God for Eve Moneypenny and the fact that despite everything he has endured James Bond actually has friends who look out for what is in his best interest





	Passive Aggressive

**Author's Note:**

> It's been a while since I have written in this or any fandom but the death of SIr Roger Moore and rewatching Spectre had my fingers moving  
> Enjoy

He walked into his office where a poised woman in a full length tanned skirt and a striped oxford shirt with the sleeves rolled up to her elbows enjoying an apple with relish. She had a wicked glint in her eyes and a playful curve to her juice covered lips that in the past would have had James bending her over to taste the fruit in a much more intimate way than merely eating one himself Now he laughed affectionately amazed at the feeling.He hadn’t felt the stirring of genuine brotherly affection since Alec and well even the janitors at MI6 knew how that had ended.But Moneypenny was different. She had was strong enough enough to endure tragedy could even bounce back from mistakes that ended the careers of seemingly invincible 00s. More importantly she saw through James’ bullshit and refused to put up with it.After the Spectre debacle it seemed he could even count Mallory as a friend. Who knew a spy could have friends.

His musings were interrupted by Eve, “ Here James have a Honey Crisp apple, they are the Lexus of the apple world.Mallory had them imported from Minneapolis Minnesota on the off chance he could get his agents to ingest more than cocktail hordouvres and martinis.”

 

He chuckled, “Well we all know I prefer Aston Martin’s but why not?” He couldn’t remember the last time had had any fruit that wasn’t backed into some intricate french pastry but this apple lived up to its name. Leave it to the Americans to grow fruit that tasted more like candy.

“Speaking of Aston Martins have you spoken to Q since your return?” Leave it to Moneypenny to zone right into the elephant in the room that James would rather relieve being tortured by Silva than bring up willingly. Madeline had just been another band aide on the oozing scar that was his heart. He was honestly ashamed of himself for sleeping with her for all of ferocity as the daughter of an assassin she had still been young naively believing that her love could keep the nightmares at bay, tame the trained killer he had been cultivated to be. The truth remained England would always have an irrevocable piece of his soul. He finally faced that the fact that he would die in Her service.  After trying normalcy for a year Madeline had finally faced the truth that she was using James as a substitute for the father she had never truly had and that he would never stop being a Double O. So after a series of the most honest conversations James had ever had in his life,  they had actually managed to part as friends. He had received a postcard from Italy detailing that she had returned to University to teach. In the back of his mind there was one other reason he and Madeline hadn’t worked that he hadn’t admitted even to himself until returning to England a month ago. That reason was currently hold up in Churchill’s secret bunker working on the latest advancement that was going to make agents’ job in the field all that more efficient Who knew the Quarter master that could pass for a student in his first semester of uni would be the scariest person James would ever face?

 

“I am guessing the fact that you are actually eating that apple instead of answering me, means no. Look James, if anyone has a justification for putting up walls and never giving anyone the key to your carefully crafted defenses you do. I am certain in the dictionary under the entry for the word betrayal, there is a picture of Jesus of Nazareth, Julius Caesar, and you, but you owe it to yourself, to Q to try something that isn’t simply pain relief.Though if all you feel is a sense of obligation don’t open that can of worms. I can tell you right now, Q doesn’t want pity, and if you screw it up with him I have it on good authority that Mallory would let him shoot you.”

“I have never been more unsure of how to go about speaking to someone in all my life.”

“Poor James Bond the great seducer has finally met his match. Oh James, here this is a copy of the latest updates for the mapping program Q is working on. 009 retrieved them from the North Koreans a week ago. I bribed her with Ed Sheeran concert tickets in order to give you a chance to deliver this to him so the next time your black market contact delivers you a shipment of hand rolled Cubans I get first crack.” She handed him a thick manilla envelope. “No matter what they may say everyone likes presents, if nothing else it will give you a conversation opener.” With that she uncrossed her legs, threw away the apple core, and walked out of his office with a gentle squeeze to his arm. He actually felt like sighing.Another first for the the great James Bond, but then again he had  bought into his own legend for far too long. Walking back into the tunnels after being gone for so long made him feel like the broken knight begging for a boon from the powerful wizard locked away in his tower of archaic mysteries far above the notice of mere mortals. Q always had somewhat of a Puckish way about him though if first he was comparing them to Arthurian legend and now Shakespeare he really was in trouble. He found the object of his musings at his desk cleaning a gun,James’s gun. Not certain what to make of this he took a deep breath and barged right into the Lion’s den. If this was to be his execution better to get it over quickly.

“How are you doing today Quartermaster, I thought I would drop by those North Korean schematics 009 managed to retrieve, so how are the cats?”

The dismantled gun became a mantled one, was that a word?, bloody hell he was off kilter,faster than he had expected from his Quartermaster but then he always underestimated Q hadn’t he? What a fool he had been, what a bloody fool he still was.

.”So the great 007 is back from playing house with his little French doll? Bah You thought the daughter  of an assassin was a handful try dealing with an actual one who truly does know you. You know  I qualified for the Double O programme but chose to take over as quartermaster because I wanted to give the 00’s a fighting chance to actually make it to retirement age.I wanted to use my brain for something better, more meaningful than simply being a wealthy computer prodigy. I was told about you and was so certain there was no way you could live up to all of the hype that your abilities were exaggerated, your accomplishments overblown. I was taking over from a career military man who had practically been a part of MI6 since birth, during a crisis, so of course I was more of a bit of an ass when in all honesty I was scared shitless. You turned out be better than everyone had said and while you never gained a proper respect for the equipment, yourself included, I eventually felt like you respected me, that you may have even seen me as a friend. Not even a postcard as to where you had settled! God I am such a walking cliche,  the gay man falling for the one person he can’t have it’s pathetic.” With that statement all the fight seemed to go out of Q, the gun he had a death grip on dropping from his hand as if it had suddenly become too hot for him to hold.Q collapsed in his chair as if his anger was had been the only thing holding him up which what Bond knew of Q’s appalling eating habits it was entirely possible the only thing that his Quartermaster was running on was emotion. Though Q’s speech emphasised to James how myopic he had been.Looking at Q,his hazel blue, green-grey eyes that seemed to hold the mysteries of the universe now seemed only to contain defeat. Perhaps Blowfeld’s device had dislodged something in his brain he was starting to cross from poetical to whimsical. He wasn't even going to touch what it meant that Q could draw a loaded gun and he didn't even bat an eyelash.

“Fuck. Not how this conversation was supposed to go. Not that I intended for it to ever occur in reality.”

“Are you trying to tell me that you have had this conversation in your dreams?” Bond couldn’t help but lean over the desk and smirk at Q at this revelation. What could he say old habits died hard. The Quartermaster’s resulting blush tested Bond’s resolve to keep the conversation purely hands off.” That is redacted information 007, not that it matters Eve will have have me castrated for that French Doll crack, but why are you here James? I thought Madeline didn’t care for the spy business?”

“Madeline doesn’t care for the spy business, as for Eve seeing as she and the rest of the female population has allowed me to keep breathing I think you are safe, but after the most brutally honest conversation in my life Ms.Swann left me to pursue further education in Italy and I returned to the only place that has ever truly felt like home MI-6.

 

Q stood up and James backed up wanting to give him space, James had foolishly thought of Q as a gazelle when in all actually he was a panther graceful but deadly for once he felt not like the hunter but the hunted. James held his breath completely out of his depth.“You have explained why you are  back at MI6, that I understand  what doesn’t make sense is why you are in Q branch having this conversation with me, I don’t for one moment believe you are actually going to return the Aston Martin.”

“I love you.” James found himself blurting out.

Q reached for his lapels, clenching tightly as he whispered fiercely “ Damn you James I am not one one of your marks how dare you say those words to me after the way you treated me.. Tears actually sprung to his Quartermaster’s eyes and if Bond thought he was out of his depth before well whatever roadmap he had been attempting to follow had just disintegrated. He wrapped his arms around Q knowing full well his Quartermaster could easily lay him out cold but James needed to ground himself in order to get this all out.

“The truth is Q,  I am terribly selfish and in desperate need of redeeming my sordid life. I let  the blackness created by the death of my parents and later my adopted father, along with every subsequent kill and betrayal eat a hole in me. I used the deaths of people I cared about as an excuse use others as a mean to an end to justify myself , I bought into the lie that I was simply a living weapon who only needed a cause to matter. Now while my attempt at domestication with Madeline proved once and for all that I am not meant for the conventional picket fence sort of life but since the moment we met besides the fact that I thought you were entirely too gorgeous to be an acceptable Quartermaster terrible I know and then you turned out to have this steel core of iron and were witty though those damned cardigans  and that ridiculous haircut that offends my military sensibilities while also making me want to forbid you from ever cutting it not that I could ever stop you from doing anything. Oh sure I treat your tech like it is disposable and I have stolen from you but I never been able to change your mind unless you wanted to do whatever it was I was convincing you to do, and honestly you are braver than me. I don’t have the good sense to be afraid you fought Spectre knowing you could get sacked or worse. May I kiss you?”

“You are actually asking permission as to whether you can kiss me?”

“Yes?” He answered tentatively not certain what to make  of Q’s question

“You truly are in love with me aren’t you?” He stepped back searching Bond’s eyes for something undefinable to them since James was being honest but he assumed Q found what he was looking for because he found himself being thoroughly kissed, it was fire, creation, the spark of life that created the universe and inspired men to noble deeds greater than themselves. Perhaps if he did ever actually retire he might take up writing seeing as his thoughts had taken what seemed like a permanent bent towards the poetical.

He pulled away gently “So what was in the entirety of my self-righteous speech that convinced you I was serious?”, 

“Your restraint. I have monitored your comms, read your files, seen the full force of your personality in action. You usually bulldoze people into giving you what you want from girls to the government, but you actually stopped and asked me what I wanted. You are a force a nature James Bond, and frankly I wouldn’t want to even attempt to restrain that, but I will be value. If you are a hurricane than I am a mountain. You may cause havoc but I will endure. I want to be your safe haven but the only person I accept playing second to is England.No more lone ranger or going dark, I have the resources to keep you off the grid, but love also means trust, a nearly impossible thing for spies I know yet if we learned anything from the Spectre debacle  we can actually trust each other.We will endure together as partners or not at all.”

“Agreed. So I this evening I want to take you to dinner and after a series of proper dates, I wish to take you back to my home where no mark as ever been. Is that acceptable to you Quartermaster?”

“Acceptable for now James, and in the spirit of full disclosure my name is Almund, which in retrospect considering what my profession ended up being was appropriate if a bit cumbersome for a young boy, but my parents were Old English scholars from even older money and it was always a comfort to know that neither of my brothers faired any better in the naming department.”

James felt light and happy for the first time in years so he hoped it would be forgiven when he said “Defender of the temple? Well I hope you won’t mind if I say I am very much looking forward to desecrating yours.”

Q, or Almund as James now thought privately merely rolled his eyes and kissed James back whole heartedly.

 

 

Meanwhile in another part of MI6-

“Cheers,Miss Moneypenny stroke of genius that giving Bond the schematics stolen from North Korea. Never doubted you for a moment.” Mallory smiled gleefully over his scotch as they clinked glasses.

“So in return for getting my Quartermaster out of a funk  and my best agent back home for good, what would like in way of compensation?”

“I will be perfectly content if you promise to escort me to the wedding.”

“The  wedding?” Mallory asked incredulously almost spitting out his Scotch.

Eve only gave him a grin to equal the cheshire cat’s as she finished her drink without another word.

 

**One Year Later**

“ I cannot believe we are getting married at Westminster Abbey by the Archbishop of Canterbury no less. Why didn’t you tell me you father was Seiger Holmes former head of the House of Lords hand the MOD or that your mother is the daughter of Joan Clarke and a leader  the field of Quantum mechanics in her own right. Not to mention your brother Mycroft Holmes the unofficial head of MI-5 or your middle brother was the famous Sherlock Holmes , the Queen is actually at our wedding as a guest. How am I supposed to live up to that?” he almost hyperventilated. 

“By being your charming self. You aren’t exactly beans on toast you know, you have been knighted by said Queen and it can be safely argued that you are the greatest agent MI6 has ever employed. And Mycroft is married to a policeman so it is not as if we are complete snobs.Obviously despite coming from old money my parents cannot be all that conventional considering they accept that all three of their sons are homosexuals; Needless to say though I am going to say it anyway I think you have spent all lifetime running from what you most need in the world, however I will stop this all right now expense and the Queen be damned if it isn’t what you truly want so let me ask you; Do you love me James?”

He took a deep breath and looked at Q soon to be Almund Preston Bond and answered calmly “Till death actually catches up with me.”

“Then quit worrying about the crowds and parental expectations and whatever other anxieties running through your mind that are trying to talk your heart out of being happy and let’s get married.” James Bond took a deep breathe and started the rest of his life.

**Fin or Perhaps Just the Beginning**

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Since tumblr first suggested it I have always loved the idea that Q is a Holmes


End file.
